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I’m not sure what got me obsessed with multi-hour, celluloid-style storytelling, but when I started fumor.net, my DVD shelves were home to almost 400 titles.
I’m not one of those cinema snobs or critics-in-training. In fact, I’m far from it. My taste in movies runs the gambit (whatever the fuck a gambit is) from independent cinema to comedy to horror to documentary to whatever the hell category “Kung Pow! Enter the Fist” falls into. Titles on my shelf have both broken box office records and bombed so miserably that they ruined the careers of their production teams and personalities.
That being said, the links on this page are not to be taken seriously. I may love the movie I’m writing about, or I may loathe it so much that I won’t ever watch another disc in the same player. According to the pieces you will find below, I hate EVERYTHING that has ever been committed to celluloid and have nothing better to do than commit overly wordy articles vehemently bashing anything and everything about the motion picture (or motion picture series, if I’m being lazy) in question.
Some of these will be cross-posted to the LEEN page where appropriate.
Want me to review a movie? Contact me.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare 
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge
A Nightmare on Elm Street
I Am Legend
Titanic
Three Things That Scared Me About “Final Destination 3″
Ernest in the Army
Ernest Goes to Africa
Slam-Dunk Ernest
Ernest Goes to School
Ernest Rides Again
Ernest Scared Stupid
Ernest Goes to Jail
Ernest Saves Christmas
Ernest Goes to Camp
The 2009 Oscar Picks
Frosty the Snowman
Twas the Night Before Christmas
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Memorable Movie Theater Moments
The 2009 “Star Trek” Teaser Trailer
“Dodgeball” Revisits Old Game…And Old Memories
Blair Witch Projects: Hysteria, Stick Sales, Boosting Maryland Tourism
It’s All Toto’s fault (and Other Ramblings On “Oz”)
Bebe’s Kids
V For Vendetta
Saw IV
Saw III
Saw II
Saw
Ten Issues with “Follow That Bird”
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Jason X
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Friday the 13th Part III
Friday the 13th Part 2
Friday the 13th
Groundhog Day
Dave
A Cinematic Compromise
The 2008 Oscar Picks
